A Episode To Decipher Life

I know it’s random.
But random is what I do best.

In my heart, I do believe the body is intertwined with the soul and the mind. Whatever happens in those two unseen things, can be seen through the body. As well as the autograph and hand writing.That day I decided to ask a friend of mine, an expertise of that particular field. I want know what is it beneath my hand writing, to decipher myself through someone else’s eyes.

And these are what my hand writing told her…..
I’m a dreamer. Though I’m not an idealist, but I have ideals that I questioned over and over again every time I bumped with the reality. Which made me a bit away from being a realist. I have lots of ideas. (A flight, probably..) and sometimes I got stumble to put them on action. I am sensitive. And criticism may lead to sarcasm. I enjoy jokes and joking. I thank everyone I met. I have problems with waiting, I tend to rush thing, which fire back to me, sometimes.

And here comes the best part….
I am afraid to open my heart. It used to be an immortal excuse of I don’t want to get hurt. I do.. not want to be hurt.
I am scared of the pain. I have the fear of pain. I runaway, I hide, I kept my mouth shut, I am so damn afraid of pain. All I wish was a pain-free life.


And then the following dialog, poked me…

What am I doing? Life is never pain free. Dreams are.

What am I doing? You live in the dream. While you should have make the dream alive.

What am I doing? Live the life. Period.


Only by letting go the fear of pain, then you could be free from pain.
It’s inevitable, and you have to survive it.


– i –


One day you’ll fall for someone who is absolutely completely you. In whom you will find affection, passion, humorous, struggle and principles. It may be real. It may lead to pain. And it may lead to wisdom. You, decide.” —- Mrs.BS, a graphologist, a friend.

I thank the online messenger, the receiver signal and 8-tracks of folktronic songs.

Oh and that dialog I quoted above was happening inside of my head. Between me, and me. 🙂


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