Burned Rose Petals and a Thank-You Note

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. It was one sleepless night.

The memory sprung out and filled the cells. I was ready with my armor shield, I was expecting for the pain to come in thundery. But it did not happened. I feel no pain. It didn’t feel hurt at all. The wound persists, but the pain had diluted in grace. Instead of slowing down my pace of thought, I picked up my pen and I scribble you this. Resume of the memory. In details. The ashes. The dust.

Mixed songs CDs. Letters written in pencil. Drawings. Colorful post-it(s) and smiley signs. Silver wrapping. Silver bracelet. Heavy novels. Late phone calls. Little Heaven, named. Standing outside room as an act of apology. Movies. Lyrics. Cynical medical decisions. 7 seasons of grumpy genius doctor. How I Met Your Mother. Lousy english. Barely tuned guitar. Basketball. Short socks. Handpicked sweaters. My picks. Deep hugs and tears. Sponge Bob. Surgery and Obstetrician. Dried noodle. Sushi. Ice Creams. Tons of them. Favorite perfume. Strawberry scent shampoo. Rose petals. Pink, red, dusty pink. White lilies. Fireworks. Eyelid kisses. Smiles. My Smiles.

In the glaring fire, I saw them burned into ashes and dust.

Thank you for an episode of sincere compassion, unconditional trust and a lesson of forgiving.

Thank you for a chapter, a ride, a journey of two human beings giving care to one another unhesitatingly.

Thank you for mind-blowing days and nights. I had fun. 🙂

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. It was not meant to last.

We, were not meant to last.

“Karena aku cuma kepingin kamu bahagia, Little Heaven, walaupun bukan aku yang jadi alasan kamu bahagia… Jadi, jangan menyerah sampai kamu bahagia ya Ndah..”

I will find my happiness. I will 🙂

Be well, out there. As I do well, in here.


– i –


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